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Columns

  • Sew what?

    I am ashamed. Eight girls, eight young girls who are three, four, even five times younger than I am have shown me just how incompetent I am in an area where women are, by tradition, supposed to excel.

    Of course it's sewing and when it comes to the fine art of stitchery, I am all thumbs. The gals of the Suwannee River Fair have accomplished more in their short lives than I have in four decades.

    My grandmothers were seamstresses, but of course, back in the day they had to be out of sheer necessity.

    I grew up with feedsack dresses trimmed in rickrack.

  • Anabolic steroids are not the rage

    Anabolic steroids become a public issue of greater importance each year. Baseball, football, and most of our beloved professional sports have all fallen victim to some degree of illegal steroid activity.

    The continued rise of Internet advertising as well as the proliferation of dietary supplements has also given "performance enhancement" more prominence. This has created a relatively new market for steroid products. Not only athletes, but more average guys are now using or considering anabolic substances.

  • You'll hear me coming

    It wasn't until the nurse practioner pointed it out last week that it dawned on me.

    I've become Phyllis Vining.

    I worked with Phyllis a very brief time around 1995. She was hired to sell ads at the paper I worked for and from the time she walked in the door, I knew she was different.

    I thought she was elderly back then-now I realize she was probably mid-50s but in her mind Phyllis was no more than 25-only the lines around her eyes gave away her secret.

  • Television

    My name is Jeff and I am a television addict." I can picture my first visit to the televisionaholics anonymous meeting. Well, I am not quite so bad that I must join TA. Of course, all of us "aholics" say we are not so addicted to those things to which we are addicted.

    We can all give up "x," or "y" or "z" any time we want.

    For instance, I might say, "Just let me watch The Simpsons, Family Guy and King of the Hill and I'll let American Dad go by the wayside this week, just to prove how I can handle this habit."

  • Overlooking the imperfections a must

    My car suffers from a bad case of dutch elm disease. Or oak blight.

    I guess whatever ailment it has comes from parking under the trees at my house.

    Being vertically challenged, I don't see the roof of the car.

    Perhaps that's why I didn't know the car was ailing from some alien rash.

    Sunday afternoon brought it all home.

    I washed-yes, hand-washed-my car. That in itself is an accomplishment.

    I am not a car washer.

    It's a bone of contention between Tom and me.

  • No Fair

    No Fair

    Life is not fair.

    Saturday at about 7:30 a.m., my wife Sharon and I left to go to the Florida State Fair in Tampa.

    I had plans to take photos of award-winning cattle and to have lots of fun.

    I drove our Jeep on Alt. 27 to catch I-75 at Ocala, but it was very foggy.

    I decided to go down U.S. Highway 19 instead, because the traffic would be slower and lighter than on the Interstate.

    Shortly after going through Chiefland on 19, we smelled smoke.

  • Super upset sheds ray of hope

    Teams that win a lot – a whole lot – usually draw animosity.

    Seems folks just plain get sick and tired of watching the same teams win time and again.

    Look at the New York Yankees. Many like to point at George Steinbrenner with disgust as he tries to buy another World Series.

    People even got fed up with Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls– dynasty in the '90s. Jordan shuffled off to play baseball before coming back to the NBA with the Bullets.

    Which brings us to the New England Patriots.

  • Sometimes you miss the boat–or candidate

    I keep my politics to myself. I've been voting since I was 18 and have missed only one election during that time. In the course of all those elections, city, state and federal, I have not discussed my vote with anyone.

    Years ago when the state of Georgia was pondering a lottery with proceeds aimed at education, my then-husband and I were at odds on how to vote. We discussed the pros and cons right up until the Tuesday we voted.

  • Tell me what you want

    Last fall our parent company sent a demographic survey pertaining to the reading preferences of Levy Countians based on subscriptions monitored by the U.S. Postal Service and amassed by an advertising agency for marketing purposes.

    It included a wide range of periodicals received via mail by Levy County readers based on statement of ownership documents that must be filed with the postal service annually.

    We were thankful to see that the Chiefland Citizen remains the most-read newspaper in the area surpassing other weeklies and three dailies.

  • Mojo–Don't mess with it

    Mojo. The dictionary defines it as a magical spell, but to loyal fans, mojo means much more.

    It is a religion to live by. It takes normal rational human beings and turns them into superstitious individuals.

    Mojo is knowing what jersey to wear to the game. It's knowing when to take it off when things aren't going quite right, only to expose the team shirt underneath. To change the shirt at halftime is to give mojo a kick in the pants.