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The dog ate my homework(email)

Every teacher has heard this story a bazillion times:

"I did my homework, really Mrs. Teacher, but the dog ate it. I promise I will do it over tonight and have it for your tomorrow."

Except in my case, there either was not a dog — because I was in boarding school — or we did not have a dog when I was living at home.

And now that I am grown, my beloved spitz, Phenix C. has crossed the Rainbow Bridge so I still do not have a dog to blame when things go wrong. And plenty has gone wrong lately. Names, photos, stories. You name it it has happened as we settle back into our digs after evacuating our rain-sopped offices for about almost three months.

We have a new boss settling in and like most relationships where you spend time in close quarters, that takes some adjustments.

But the latest item is one that has me apologizing to every teacher in Levy County.

We do a lot of business via email and Levy's teachers are the best at getting the good news out about our children.

But somewhere in October or November, the news slowed from a gusher to a drip. And teachers were saying they sent me emails that I never received.

Then a religion columnist disappeared.

I got a couple of phone calls complaining about not running stuff sent via email.

Next it was Melissa Waters our office manager coming in to tell me a woman chewed her out for something not being in the Citizen.

I never got it.

Really.

I checked my "Junk" folder in mail to make sure nothing went in there. Just the usual "Beautiful Brazilian Brides for you" "Russian Beauties Waiting for your Call" and sexual dysfunction, mortgage offers and letters about inheriting from Nigerian relatives.

So I sent a note to our corporate computer desk asking if they could explain all this email going awry.

He checked some mail server that the company used in some spartan spot (like Nowhere, Texas) and said I had 12,000 emails in a SPAM folder I never knew I had.

And even better, I had access to the folder.

So I go in and, yes, there are bunches of emails from Levy schools addresses.

That also includes the four emails the teacher sent on the spelling bee held at Chiefland Elementary School.

They include the "Shark News" emails from Cedar Key School.

So, here's to you teachers:

The server ate my email and it will not happen again. Promise. The server ate my email and it will not happen again. Promise. The server ate my email and it will not happen again. Promise. The server ate my email and it will not happen again. Promise. The server ate my email and it will not happen again. Promise. The server ate my email and it will not happen again. Promise. The server ate my email and it will not happen again. Promise. The server ate my email and it will not happen again. Promise. The server ate my email and it will not happen again. Promise. The server ate my email and it will not happen again. Promise. The server ate my email and it will not happen again. Promise. The server ate my email and it will not happen again. Promise. The server ate my email and it will not happen again. Promise. The server ate my email and it will not happen again. Promise. The server ate my email and it will not happen again. Promise. The server ate my email and it will not happen again. Promise.

And to that faith columnist who went MIA, I have ended your days in SPAM hell.

Lou Elliott Jones is editor d the Cedar Key Beacon. She can be contacted at 352-493-4896 or editor@chieflandcitizen.com